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Today must be National Relearn Your Way Around The Internet Day. I have signed into my email carrier and deleted old accounts. I had a brilliant ideas months ago to keep one email account strictly for people who say “can I have your email address” apart from the account that friends and I can chit chat on. But then I’d get them mixed up. Before you know it I’d have 500 emails in each account. So at this point I’m trying to dig myself out of all those newsletters I’m getting and all of those sites that I’m getting notices on. Hopefully that will help some. I really do want control of my life again. Anyway, I’ve taken the first step. But if any of you ask me for my email address I will probably run screaming like a banshee from the room. None of us want to see that.

While I’m sure that you thought I was the perfect mother, as well you should, my son who is 20 came home yesterday with a numb and painful mouth. He had pretty much spent the previous couple of hours high. Oh wait that probably came out the wrong way. He had just come home from his 5 visit to the dentist and been on Nitrous. According to the dentist Mountain Dew is pretty much job security for your local dentist. He’s been to the dentist about 5 times and each time they fill 3 or 4 fillings. I would say he had approximately 12 fillings. The dentist told him it was from drinking Mountain Dew. I saw a 20/20 Special a few years ago about families in the Appalachian Mountains being addicted to and giving Mountain Dew to their babies – IN THEIR BOTTLES – and it rots their teeth. I believe it!! Unfortunately I allowed my child to drink Mountain Dew to the same point. I’d like to smack myself in the back of the head and run from the room like a banshee! However, Michael did walk out of the house carrying a Mountain Dew this morning. And that makes me wanna slap HIM on the back of the head!

I received 2 books I ordered from Amazon today on grieving. One is a small nonfiction book by H. Normal Wright titled Experiencing Grief. The second is a devotional book compiled by Bill Dunn and Kathy Leonard called Through a Season of Grief – Devotions of your Journey from Mourning to Joy.

 

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Have any of you read these? I wanted a devotional book but I also wanted a nonfiction book to go through with me to help me begin this walk of healing. I know my doctor told me to talk to a counselor. But at this point I feel like I’m doing much better. I think the Lord and I can walk this path together. “O Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me…Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex…you saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed” (Psalm 139:1, 14, 16 NLT) I feel like He has the answers. He saw me through the struggle. He knows the burden of my heart. He knows my heart better than anyone else. I’m gonna try working with the Father first. If I still feel like I need someone else to talk through I will not hesitate to see a counselor if I need to. I’ve done it many times before. But first I want to speak with the Father, the one who knows what it means to lose a child.

God bless you all!!!