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Well, in the last five minutes while I got up to do something I have changed my mind about what I was going to write about. Does that ever happen to you? You have been assigned a topic through NaBloPoMo, you have it all laid out in your mind but before you sit down to work on it you get up to get a drink of water and suddenly in those few minutes another idea hits you and it totally derails your mind? It doesn’t? Then I’m the only one whose mind wanders. GREAT! You really know how to make a girl feel all alone.


Today I’m supposed to write about my energy. Now I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be my physical energy, my mental energy, my psychic energy, my emotional energy or……..well, you get the idea. I suppose if I was one of those New Age hippie dippie kind of people I could share about my psychic energy and tell you about my aura and what each color means. But yeah, I don’t really see that. I’m not New Age. And I’m not hippie dippie. And I don’t see auras or colors around people. So, we can strike that one off the list.

I suppose if I sat still long enough to think about my mental state to consider what kind of energy it is floating around in I might actually go a little more insane than I want to admit. And my physical energy is constantly on a roller coaster because of this fibromyalgia I deal with. And you know, I spend most days dealing with that, some days are good and some days are not so good. So I don’t really want to think about that right now.


But my emotional energy is one thing that I do have to work at on a fairly regular basis. I hope that’s not the case the with you. Unfortunately it is with me. I suffer from Clinical Depression and Anxiety Disorder. I hear you saying “so do I”. I think a lot of us fit in that category. I think a lot of us find ourselves in that position on a temporary basis due to difficult situations in our lives. When those situations level out then our emotions level out and we can go back to life as normal. Then there are those like me who I believe have suffered with it for years and years. First of all, let me just get this out of the way first and foremost, I am a Christian. I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. And even I know that if there is a chemical problem in your brain you see a doctor for help. God is a miracle worker. But not getting treatment for a doctor in order to pray it away because there might be some sin in my life that is causing my depression is not TRUTH. Ok – I see a psychiatrist to treat my emotional issues. But my main point of this post is that my medicine cannot do all the work for me. I have to control the atmosphere that I surround myself with. It’s very easy for me to be affected by negativity of others, gossip, poor spirits, overwhelming attitudes of disbelief toward my family or members of my family. If I run into any of that it consumes me and covers my mind with negative thoughts. Those negative thoughts trigger my depression. That will trigger me to hibernate in my home, not take care of myself and stop talking. My husband is very good about going to bat for me and work at going between me and the negativity so I can level back out and come back up for air. I’ve learned to speak up for myself in all of this. I try cutting off the negativity with good comments when I hear it turning. That helps me a lot.


The important thing is to be aware of your emotional well being and learn when you need to step in and take control for yourself so you don’t end up on the couch with the curtains closed sleeping all day, every day….for a week. It’s not healthy for you or your family. Love yourself and learn how to shut down the negative by speaking the positive! Use the power of your positive self to fight the negative! You can do it!