I realize it’s been a while since I’ve written here. It’s because I’ve been mulling things around. If you have been reading my blog you’ve noticed that my blog follows my life. If I am struggling with a personal matter that’s what I write about. If something happens in the world and it bugs me then I write about it. During my battle with cancer I shared ways that you could stay aware of cancer yourself to keep yourself safe. When I was trying to lose weight I took you along with me.
Well for the last 22 years I’ve had Fibromyalgia, which you probably already know. For much longer than that I’ve suffered with Depression. If you looked at me you wouldn’t know a thing was wrong with me. You wouldn’t know how long it takes me to get to the point where I have the energy to make it up the steps in the morning to start getting ready. Nor do you see how long I have to rest between each phase of getting ready. There are numerous times my body tells my head that going out just isn’t a good idea today. Sometimes I don’t have the energy to fight back and just give in. But sometimes I’m able to take enough medicine to fake my body into believing that it feels good enough that going out is a possibility after all. The “getting ready” process may take 2 hours or 4 hours. I just don’t know until I start trying. Sometimes I’ve made it through the entire process and come downstairs to meet my family just to tell them that I just can’t go wherever I was going to go with them. Has that happened to you? Or maybe I’ve forced myself to go on and go with them, to church let’s say. We all think it’s gonna be a good day. I’ve made it out – SUCCESS! But my body hasn’t gotten the message. Many times Ron has had to turn around 30 minutes later and bring me back home and then gone back to church so he could teach his class. Did I “look” good? I suppose so. Did it look like I wasn’t hurting? Probably so. Did I look like I had a disabling illness? Not if you just looked at me. If you asked me how I was, I probably said Fine and smiled. I may have hugged you – because I’m a hugger. But was I fine? No! Did my smile tell you that I felt great? No! Did my hug convey that I was feeling well? Probably not because I’ve hugged hundreds of people and wanted to cry as I did so.
September is Pain Awareness Month. I’m choosing now to change my blog. I’ve decided to bring my blog into focus. I was challenged to do this because September 28 – October 4 is also Invisible Illness Awareness Week.
Since an invisible illness is such a huge part of my life I’ve decided to zero in on it for my blog. There will be artwork, challenges, information on various other illnesses, funny stories and just day to day life on living with an illness that no one can see.
I hope that my transformed blog will be a place that you will feel comfortable, welcome and at home. I want you to leave me comments and questions. I’ll be in contact with other fighters in the field we live in and would love to get together and discuss challenges that we all face.